06 Mar Lessons in Gratitude from a Friend

A friend of mine, Jason Burke, passed away unexpectedly at 42. I wouldn’t say we were super close, but my memories of him left a lasting impression. I valued Jason’s perspective on coaching, and I loved listening to his conspiracy theories. However, what I appreciated most was his outlook on life.

Jason served in the military as an infantryman, which he talked about in a podcast we did together in early 2020, just before lockdowns. What he shared in that conversation stuck with me, not just how difficult it was to adjust to civilian life, but how grateful he was for his experiences because they gave him perspective on how good we have it in North America.

When I went to do the interview with Jay, I didn’t know him well. We had trained together and competed on a team for what would be the last CrossFit Regional in 2018. Still, we hadn’t talked much beyond his occasional chirps about my terrible ability to deadlift and my napkin triceps.

Going into the interview, I was afraid it wouldn’t go well, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. At the time, Jason seemed like a man of few words—someone who didn’t offer up personal details about his past or experiences. Neither did I. But in that conversation, I saw a different side of him. He was talkative, open, and willing to share his story if you were genuinely interested in his thoughts and opinions. I’m grateful to have had that conversation because, at the time, it felt like a side of him not many people got to see. That conversation made us a bit closer and was the actual start of our friendship.

As tragic as death is, it reminds us that we don’t get to choose when our ticket gets punched. It gives us a chance to reflect on how we’re living, be grateful for the people we have in our lives, and cherish the time we still have with them.

Jason’s words from that conversation that have stuck with me:

“It’s more or less just how you look at the world after an extended period of time in that environment (deployment), in that culture. Then it changes everything about how you view everything. And it also adds a significant amount of gratitude to everyday life.

It’s difficult to really express how much you can appreciate when you’ve seen the other side of the planet and places that do not have what we have, people that do not get the opportunities that we get. And it’s easy to take it for granted, but then every once in a while, you have a little bit of a recollection of some event or some series of events or some experience, and you go, oh yeah, I don’t have to worry about that. Thank God.”

It’s a shame we never did the drunk podcast with Jay.